


Kiss Me On The Mouth and Set Me Free, But Please, Don't Bite

by Malec_Magnificent



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz Pitch - Freeform, Baz has a dark past, Baz is Hot, Enter Baz, Human Simon Snow, Idk what i'm doing, M/M, Romance, Simon Snow - Freeform, Simon is scared of clowns, Simon works In a cafe, Strangers to Lovers, Watford does not exist, carry on, mundane AU, penelope bunce - Freeform, poor baby, so is simon, vampire baz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-19 03:45:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13115301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malec_Magnificent/pseuds/Malec_Magnificent
Summary: "Hi...um, nice to meet you, please ignore the blood, so what's up?""We are gonna die!""Jokes on you, I'm already dead..."I kinda joined two prompts. Baz is a vamp and Simon is a human.The annual fun fair is taking place and the whole town decides to join except for Simon. After sitting alone for hours in the cafe, Simon sees a living example of what they call tall dark and handsome enter, except, he has blood on his lips...Sorry I'm not good at summaries





	1. Are You A Serial Killer?

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have to update my other fic too, but so much had been happening and Jonghyuns death just made it all worse, but I'm actually better now and I've almost finished the second chapter of Everything is fair in love and war, also I might change the name of that fanfic to Wicked Game. I really love that song and it kinda matches the story in my head.

"You're missing all the fun Simon! Everyone is here,"

I sigh for the hundredth time today, why is she so stubborn?

"Penny, I already told you, I don't really care. I mean I don't even get why they go to that stupid annual fair thing," I'm almost angry at her, but you can't really blame her. She probably just misses me.

"Okay then Simon! Sit in that boring place alone all day!" She almost shouts and hangs up before I can say anything. I should be feeling bad but I'm actually thankful that she finally gave up.

The cafe is empty today, everyone is at that fun fair. The first time I went there was also my last. I've never told Penny why I don't go which bothers her, but I actually don't want her to know. She will be laughing at me for eternity if I told her I'm scared of the clowns. I mean how can someone like clowns? With their creepy fake smiles and that scary costume. A shiver runs down my spine just by thinking of them.

Even my boss and co workers are off to that place, everyone knows that I won't be needing a hand when nobody is in town. I'm better off sitting here all day all by myself, I don't mind silence anyways. 

 

I've cleaned the whole place, checked my emails, watched a few episodes of Shadowhunters on Netflix, it's 3:00 PM. But not even a single person has walked through that door which feels strange cuz normally this place is crowded. 

Not that I mind watching Netflix and eating pizza all day and getting paid for it...

I'm watching the seventh episode for the day when I hear the door open. I look up to see the living example of what they call tall, dark and handsome walking in. His black hair is gelled back, his grey eyes look at me with a sharp and piercing gaze, his skin is paler than anything I've ever seen but he looks more alive and alert than anyone and his movements are graceful as fuck. His black leather jacket is clung to his strong build as if it was made for him, his ripped black pants aren't doing a good job at helping me come back to my senses either and his boots, dear lord, he looks like sex on legs. 

He walks towards me and clears his throat, I almost jump as I'm brought of my train of thoughts. I look at his face again and that's when I take in his facial features from up close and damn, those high cheekbones...

As my gaze drifts downwards, a gasp makes its way out of my lips. 

Blood

There's blood on his lips.

I'm frozen right where I am. Is this where I end? There's motherfucking blood on his lips and there's a dried red/brown stain down towards his chin. While he does look hot, he looks more like a charming serial killer right now, I think about calling 911 but I think the police must be at the stupid fun fair too. I mean I know they won't be but ugh, I should've listened to Penny. 

He's still standing there, looking at me, he's probably wondering if I'm a human being or a mannequin.

"Uh...hi, um I want an espresso," He says, giving me a smile and finally giving an end to the silence. Okay so at least he can talk. He's almost talking as if he doesn't know there's bloody blood on his face. But he is still giving me that smile. That damn smile. I'm almost surprised, he's smiling like an angel and here I thought he would take out a knife and peel my skin off. Why do I have a feeling that he's a softie, I mean yeah there's the blood but that smile...

"No cream or sugar," He says before I can even ask. 

I bring him his cup, he takes it and walks to a booth with the grace of an angel. He just sits there, drinking in silence and looking outside. I still think I should call the police but maybe it's fake blood, maybe he's an actor, maybe he isn't an actual murderer.

I don't know why but I feel like he can't do any harm. My life isn't eventful anyways, I wouldn't mind if it ends by the hands of someone as handsome as him.

I resort to Netflix once again, not caring about the mysterious guy sitting three meters away from me. 

I don't know how long has passed since I started watching Sense 8 when he stands up and approaches me once again. I take out my headphone and put my phone to the side, maybe this is the part where he takes out a gun and shoots me. 

"I see you haven't gone to the annual carnival," He says, his voice deep and sexy. He doesn't physically look any older than me but it's the way he carries himself that makes him look older.

"I...I'm n..not really fond of it," I stutter back, damnit Simon! Keep it together. I walk towards the booth to take the empty cup.

"Then what is it that you are fond of?" He asks, his eyes meeting mine as I look up as him. There's blood creeping up to my face. He's bloody flirting with me. I turn around, cleaning the already clean table to hide my blush. 

"Certainly not blood," I say almost nonchalantly and then realize what I just said. I had decided to ignore the blood. I've never seen him in town and maybe I'd never see him again, I was trying to fake oblivion. But my little brain had to screw it up. Fuck

I quickly turn around to look at him, but where he stood is air now. It's almost as if he vanished into thin air, I think I'm hallucinating. Maybe it was just hallucinations because of sleep deprivation and boredoom, but the cup in the sink begs to differ...


	2. Are You A Stalker?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon is walking home from work the next day when he bumps into a stranger, guess who the stranger is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, so um I've decided that in every chapter, Simon is gonna assume Baz's identity as something new. One day he thinks he's a murderer and the next he assumes he's a stalker, of course he has reasons to think so.

"And this one! Omg I swear I've never laughed so much in my life at any other picture!" Penny is laughing while showing me pictures of Micah on her phone that they took at the fun fair. We're in my bedroom, my shift starts in an hour and Penny was feeling bored so she came over. 

In the photo, Micah looked pissed off while his shirt looked drenched with some yellow drink. Any other day, I would've found it funny and actually laughed, but I still hadn't been able to take my mind off of that mysterious stranger that walked into the cafe yesterday. Nobody came in after him and I closed the shop at 9 pm. For some reason, i haven't been able to take him out of my mind, I remember all his features in vivid detail. I've tried so hard but everytime, I just end up thinking about him even more. 

"......but the yellow one makes me feel light and lively, which one do you think would work?"

"Simon?"

I feel someone shaking my arm cautiously and I'm brought out of my thoughts, Penny. I don't even know what she was blabbering about for the past I don't know how many minutes. Oh god, this guy will be the death of me. I've seriously gotta clear my head.

"Uh.. I'm sorry Pen, what were you saying?" I ask and I'm clearly embarrassed as she gives me an 'Are you fucking kidding me?' look and then walks out with a pissed off face. It kinda looks like the one Micah had in that picture, except, this time I'm actually laughing. Thankfully Penny isn't one to hold grudges, I'll just have to make it up to her. 

I go and take a shower and then start getting ready for my shift, somehow, I feel excited. It's not exactly excitement, maybe like a smaller version of it. I've been there so many times but today, there's this tiny part of me hoping that that stranger would walk in through that door again and look at me the way he did yesterday. I probably sound like an idiot, but I don't care. It's not like there's a bunch of fangirls reading my thoughts, right?

 

~~~~~~~~~

I finally give out a sigh of relief after putting the last cup in the sink. My shift will be over in five minutes and Clary has already arrived. As much as her short temper annoys me, I still care for her a lot. 

I say goodbye to her and walk outside, the cold breeze hits me and I realize how much cold it actually is outside, the cafe on the other hand, is heaven.....If you are a customer rather than an employee tho. There's the rich aroma of coffee all around, it's warm and the lights and chatter of people make the place feel so alive, so unlike that dark creepy guy. 

No matter how hard I try, I can't get that bastard out of my head. Today, I spent my whole day looking up everytime someone entered the door, because somewhere deep inside me I was expecting it to be him. I don't even know his fucking name, ugh.

 

I'm walking home and lost in my thoughts when I bump into someone and make all the things that they're holding fall down on the pathway in the process. Damn it Simon! It was getting dark but I should've paid attention. I start apologizing and bend down to gather all the things that had fallen but my eye catches a certain photograph and I freeze.

It's a photo of me, in the cafe, looking at my phone. I'm wearing my red hoodie that I'm wearing right now, dang, it's a photo of today. I quickly look up to find out the identity of the photographer and a sharp gasp leaves my lips, it's him...

His black coat is doing a great job at helping him show off his tall and lean figure, he is wearing black leather pants again, damn, and a black scarf is wrapped around his neck. His black boots make him even more charming. I know whom he is, he is the real life version of Alec Lightwood. But well, I should think seriously, my gaze drifts up towards his face again.

 

He just looks at me like a deer caught in headlights, his grey and sharp eyes wide. I feel my heartbeat racing, okay, stay calm Simon, breath. He quickly takes the photo from me, and places it in his bag along with the rest of the pages. I wonder what they are, but I'm creeped out and frozen right now. There's nobody nearby, maybe he let me live yesterday to kill me today?

"Hey, I remember you, the not interested guy from the cafe right?" He says and gives me that damn smile again. Oh god, he's totally gonna kill me today. But if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die brave, not begging for my life.

"That's a very unimpressive way to describe someone," I say trying to look bold and brave, but whom am I kidding, I'm gonna piss my pants.

"What's your name then?" He asks with a smirk on his lips, he tilts his head to the side a bit and his hair falls on his face. It looks so fucking silky and smooth, I just wanna run my hands through it for eternity. 

"I think you already know," I say, looking unimpressed. Last time, I faked oblivion with the blood, but I'm not scared this time. I just clearly pointed out the fact that I know he's stalking me. If he wants to kill me then so it be. I'm tired of trying to kick his thoughts out of my head anyways.

"I actually don't, but I'm sure your name is just as beautiful as you," He says, giving me another of his dangerous fatal smiles. I know that my cheeks are turning crimsom right now, how the fuck does he have the guts to still flirt with me?

"Then I'm sure you name is just as creepy and scary as you," I say, yep, in case you didn't notice yet, I have a death wish. 

He gives me a laugh, and not the cold hearted and mean laugh but a genuine one. "My name is Baz, and it doesn't sound much scary to me. So, care to share your name, handsome?"

Fuck it, he's a stalker, he would find out my name anyways. "Snow," I reply dryly. But he looks confused, now what?

"Yes I know it's snowing, but I want to know your name beautiful," He says and gives out a cute chuckle. No, not cute. Nope, certainly not cute. He's confusing me, why am I not getting creeped out by this stran- Baz. I get angry, he's making fun of my name.

"My NAME is Snow," I say, putting extra effort into 'name'. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, there's an amused look on his face, I wonder what he's gonna say...

"Cold, just like your heart," He says as if it were the most normal thing ever. I grit my teeth, he knows nothing about me, how dare he call me cold hearted? I even gave my last piece of Pizza to clary once without any fighting, how dare he?

Funny thing is how he keeps his calm, that little fucker, he knows well how to intimidate someone. "Look, I'm not scared of you, just tell me why are you in my town and what are you doing with my pictures? This is MY town and I won't just allow a dangerous stranger to roam freely around it, So what bring you here?" I say, chin up and arms folded.

"This is not only your town, I've spent my childhood here too," He says, and it feels like every word came out with difficulty and pain. His face looks angry and his hands are gripping his bag tightly, it sends a shiver down my spine. I'm too used to his deep sexy voice with an affectionate tone, maybe that's the only reason I'm not scared of him. But this tone makes it hard to choose between running home and hiding under my blanket, and reaching out and touching his pale skin while comforting him.

I just close my eyes, not knowing how I feel about him, not knowing how I feel at all. He looks so dangerous yet his voice is the most soothing thing I've ever heard. His actions are mysterious and suspicious but his words and eyes are clear as water. I open my eyes to look at him once more, to maybe ask him something or talk to him, but air is occupying where he stood a few seconds ago.

It's just like yesterday, maybe I'm going crazy, I should reduce my intake of coffee, and sleep a bit more. It's probably hallucinations, but the footsteps on the ice are saying the opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked it. Also, as for my other fanfic 'Everything is fair in love and war'. Everytime I start writing the rest of the second chapter, I just don't find any reality. Cuz like, they have seen each other irl and know them and talking over text. They can't really fall in love over text, no offense to anyone who has fallen in love over text tho. But like, they should at least know what the other looks like and all. And Baz is plotting against him so yeah. I'm gonna delete that and write another one with the same prompts, but this one is gonna make more sense, I love you guys.
> 
> Follow me on insta, @malecxmemes. And also the one ⬇️. If you wanna talk about the next chapter or anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Simon is so smol isn't he???  
> Baz will return in next chapter :)
> 
> I'm @snowxpitch on insta if anyone want to talk❤️❤️❤️


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